Jul 07, 2022

Asking Questions IS Standing in your Power


I have been thinking a lot lately about something that my coach said months ago.  It was, the smartest people in the classroom were those who weren’t afraid to ask questions.  


This really struck me, because as bad as it sounds, I remember being judgmental of the students that asked all of the questions.  Even,= when I should have been thankful, because, if I were being honest I had the same questions.  


I was conditioned to believe that asking questions was a sign of weakness.  It was admitting that you didn’t already know something; which of course is the whole point of education, to learn new things.  Nonetheless, I truly believed that one showed their intelligence by ANSWERING questions rather than asking them.  


This followed me through college and into adulthood.  I very rarely asked for clarification on tasks given to me by employers, or asked for more information when having discussions with friends.  I simply acted like I “knew,” what they were talking about or what they were asking of me. 


Of course, this closed me off from the possibility of learning deeper lessons.  I did not allow myself to ask for more information, even on topics that I really wanted to learn more about.  I guess that is where the good old Google machine has saved me more than once.  


But, Googs couldn’t answer the questions that I deeply wanted answered.  It can’t answer questions about a person’s individual perspective or experience around something.  And, what is more profound than learning through someone else’s authentic experience? 


I’m not trying to imply that we as a society do this intentionally (or maybe we do), but we must stop quieting the question askers.  We need to start teaching our children that asking questions is imperative to their education. We need to treat each question as though it’s valuable, because it is.  


There is a reason that small children always ask, “why,” and of course sometimes it is to get a rise out of their parents.  But, more so, they are inquisitive.  They understand that the only way that they are going to learn is through seeking the answers to life’s questions.   We typically are not born afraid of asking questions, at some point many of us LEARN, that asking questions is not what smart people do.  Or perhaps, it’s what disruptive people do.


So my friend, the point of this is simply to say, it is time to start asking all of the questions.  And, remember that when you do so - you are standing in your power.  You are allowing yourself to learn deeper lessons.  You are essentially saying “yes,” to yourself, by agreeing to ask for the clarification that you desire.  

Not only that, but you might find that you build stronger connections with people.  Because, especially when you ask questions about something that a friend or loved one is sharing with you, it shows them that you are interested in the conversation.  


It builds a stronger relationship with yourself as well.  Because you give yourself the opportunity to be the most authentic version of yourself.  The version of you who is willing to admit when things aren’t as clear as they could be for you.  The version of you who is not limited by tight perimeters of conversation 


Asking questions of a coworker or employer can save you a lot of time and ensure that you deliver the desired result.  


And it’s true that everyone may not respond well to you asking questions. But, this is because they likely have adapted a belief system that asking questions shows a lack of intelligence.  Who knows, you might empower them to stand in their power as well.  



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